REVIEW: The Empathy Effect by Helen Riess (5-stars)

A very thorough and enjoyable read that thoroughly covers many aspects of empathy, though the writing can be a bit rambling and overly conversational, which had merits – I stopped more frequently to digest the material than I would with a more structured writing style (and it took me much longer to read this book as a result).

The book begins with an overview of empathy as a term and dives deep into the neuroscience behind this hard-wired human trait.  Empathy allows us to not just acknowledge/validate (sympathize) with someone else’s feelings, but to feel what they are feeling and relate to the experience of another person.  The authors briefly touch on true empathy and misplaced or sham empathy, as well (ie, helicopter parents who are unable to bear any expression of perceived discomfort of their children).

Early in the book, we are presented with a 7-point tool for developing better empathy, called “E.M.P.A.T.H.Y.” 

E for eye contact

M for muscle facial expression

P for posture

A for affect (emotions)

T for tone of voice

H for hearing the whole person

Y for your response

“With deep empathic listening comes an empathic response that starts on a physiological level because of our shared brain activity.”

This tool was tested out on physicians to help them better relate to patients and understand not just the “complaint” but the “concern” – resulting in greater patient satisfaction as well as more effective treatment by the physician.  

The authors dive into childhood cognitive development and empathy, discuss parenting and empathy and the ways that parents provide a “mirror” to help children develop empathy and form secure attachments.  Empathy in education is discussed – using as a case a “last resort” high school where staff are directed to use empathy and compassion, and failing or delinquent students are “punished” with study hall, counseling and support services.  This made me consider the style of education in my experience where corporal punishment in the form of detention hall (sit straight, eyes forward, no sleeping, no eating, no talking, no moving, no studying/reading) was the first response to any infraction.  

Learning and educational methods are critical for teenagers who learn best from “Project based learning”  -- a great place to learn to collaborate, form relationships and absorb information by directly doing things.  This leads into a discussion around the ways that new technologies – esp cell phones, Internet use – are changing our brains by developing habits that tap into primal responses and keeping us from being able to develop deeper relationships by depriving us of access to the emotional context of our interactions.

The authors also devote a substantial portion of the book to discussing the role of literature and art in providing opportunity for people to interpret and project what the artist (or subjects of the work) were thinking or feeling.   “Art is incomplete without the perceptual and emotional involvement of the viewer.”  Art allows (or even requires) us to move out of our own perspectives and open to other ways of perceiving or seeing the world.

“The power of art lies in its ability to stimulate both cognitive (thinking) and affective (feeling) empathy.”

From here, the authors examine leadership – and the ways that empathic leadership can change the brain chemistry of leaders and followers via an “interconnectedness of thoughts and feelings” that establishes a “social intelligence.”  A good leader is pays attention to the health of her relationships with his constituents/followers and is able to create bonds that underlie a culture of trust and collaboration.  Empathy is critical to this process.

There’s a bit of a ramble about the 2016 presidential election and the problems created and expressed by both major party candidates that resulted in manipulation into a false “in-group” and a sense of exclusion on either side.   The remainder of the book reviews different responses to “out group” types, including homeless, the mentally ill, substance abusers, LGBTQ folks, etc.  

The important takeaway here is that those times when you feel the least empathetic are critically important for you to be empathetic – and requires self-awareness, impulse control and self-examination feelings to determine what is blocking an empathic response.  

Finally, there’s an entire chapter on self-empathy and mindfulness and the importance of this as a reflection on how you treat others.  You treat others as you treat yourself – if you listen to the chatter in your brain (not all your thoughts are you) and have a harsh inner critic, that will result in similar approach or responses to others.  From self-kindness springs empathy for others.  This is an excellent lesson to keep!

REVIEW: The Empathy Effect  by Helen Riess 

RATING: 5-stars

© Jennifer R Clark. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License. You may share and adapt this content with proper attribution.

REVIEW: The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains by Nicholas Carr (4-stars)

 Enjoyable and provocative book that covers the social history of new communication technologies and their impacts on human culture.  Before he even gets too deeply into the Internet -- Carr explores oral tradition, the advent of writing, the use of books and then cultural changes that happened with the invention of the printing press.  Carr also explores neuroplasticity and the way memories are formed and retained -- but, interestingly, he doesn't talk much about David Wegner's theories of transactive memory.

While I do agree that reading books is important to developing critical thought and independent ideas -- there are many bits of trivia that I don't have to remember (like the name of the actress who played the maid in Gaslight). In fact - there are many things that I "stored" in other people, books or notebooks before the internet.  Instead of having almanacs, encyclopedias and reference books at hand in my home, I can simply use the internet.

Finally, while Carr raises some critical issues about how people trying to think like machines affects culture -- he leaves out the basic fact that all the machines and web pages are designed by humans.  There's a simple fix:  change the way that websites and web pages are designed.  If reading prose with hyperlinks creates a certain amount of cognitive overhead for users and makes them less successful in recall and formation of original ideas and connections -- then adjust the design to meet the goal. Provide versions of prose stripped of hyperlinks, and perhaps offer annotated versions for more in-depth research. 

I find an interesting parallel in the risk of fragmented, distracted cognitive functions especially in the work place with the rise of leadership literature that exhorts leaders to establish personal connections, establish meaningfulness of work and to "tap into the collective unconscious."  There's a cultural shift since the 80s publication of "Servant Leader" and so many books on mindfulness that this direction seems a natural out growth but what if it is just a response to the decreased ability of most people to focus and concentrate on complex issues?  That would support Carr's claim that we're moving toward a division where book reading is a specialized task for a certain intellectual elite, while the masses move toward the highly rewarding, stimulating pursuit of tidbits of information that they can't quite weave together into a coherent whole.  

Enjoyable read - I recommend it!

As an aside -- an additional data point for contextualization of information between the author's group of students who read and synthesized the facts in their reports vs the students who used online resources and just relayed them without interpretation.  Humans have always used methods for externally storing information – including other people (see Wegner’s theory of “Transactive Memory”). 

The same people who would have just transcribed information from an encyclopedia for their papers are the same people who would copy and paste from online sources.  The people who read and understand and are able to provide a narrative with arguments and value are also the same people but who make different choices.

There are, indeed, analogs to “Facebook” weak-link friends in the real world:  think of any bartender, barista, corner store owner or other people in similar public facing roles.  Long before the internet, they fostered connection with hundreds or thousands of people who they could recognize by name, remember a favorite ice cream or drink and leave an impression of “friend” on such a person.  The internet just allows more people to have this experience but not as a requirement of vocation but a choice of community of opinions and information.

REVIEW: The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains  by Nicholas Carr 

RATING: 4-stars

© Jennifer R Clark. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License. You may share and adapt this content with proper attribution.